The Chronicles of the Lives of Two Bohemians
by LeLunaTango
Summary: In which Roger and Mark do a number of crazy, stupid, and strange things, and learn absolutely nothing from their mistakes.
1. Homophobia and Love Songs

Once upon a time there were two pathetic guys sitting in a loft. Their names were Mark and Roger, and they were both starving artists who dreamed to become famous. They only found joy in randomly breaking out into song and dance. Often, this drew attention to them and caused people to back away slowly the run. A very good example of this was on Memorial Day, in May of 1999. Roger and Mark thought it was incredibly hot, so they decided to go for a swim… in a fountain in Tompkins Square Park...

As random passersby stared with interest at the two men swimming lazily around the fountain, Roger, the man who was wearing very thoroughly soaked plaid pants stood up and began belting out a song he had written for his girlfriend who died two years ago.

Roger:

Your eyes, as we said our goodbyes

They were so beautiful

And I find

That your eyes

Weren't actually that beautiful

That Mark's were so much more beautiful

They were blue as the sky

And I tried

To see your eyes

But I find

That marks took me by surprise

The night he came into my life

Where there's moonlight

I see his eyes

Why'd I let him slip away?

So I could be with you

You were just a stripper

And I… just thought you were hot!

Why'd I let him slip away when I'm longing so

To hold him

Now I die for one more day

Cuz I wasted my time on you

Then mark stood up and ran over to roger. He jumped into Roger's arms and then began an exotic rendition of Angel and Collins' love song.

Mark:

Eo with a thousand sweet kisses

Even if you have AIDS

With a thousand sweet kisses

Even if you're dying

With a thousand sweet kisses

Even if you're a failed rock star

With a thousand sweet kisses

I'll always love you!!

People who walked around in Tompkins Square Park that day were unbelievably confused as to why these full grown men were singing love songs to each other, in a fountain no less. Suddenly a police man came by and stopped next to them.

Police man: You two are arrested!

Roger: For what?

Police man: For public displays of homosexuality

Roger: not for being half naked in public?

Police man: no

Mark: or disturbing the peace?

Police man: no

Mark: or being in the fountain?

Police man: no

Both: THAT'S HOMOPHOBIC!! Let's find Maureen and make a protest. And sing about how homophobia is wrong!!

Police man: Ahhhhhh!! The gayness is too creepy. Get away from me!!

The police man ran away and Roger and Mark were left smiling in the fountain, dripping wet, and then proceeded to start making out.

-

Authoress' note:

Katie: Okay, so this fic is written by Anni and Katie. Kate being the better author of the two, basically wrote down all of Anni's ideas and made Anni look good. The two authoress' are now dancing to the tune of la vie boheme and eating cake, and are now dubbed the most random girls in the world.

Anni would you like to say anything?

Anni: Yea. Ok, to sum it all up, I think I wrote about 2 sentences in this whole story. Isn't that fantastic?

Katie: Yes I think it is fantastic. Now lets find which ones you wrote… lets see…

"They only found joy in randomly breaking out into song and dance. Often, this drew attention to them and caused people to back away slowly the run."

That really sums up the entire plot Anni. I think you made a wonderful contribution to the story!

Anni: thank you. I don't write very much but I have ideas!! Yea…. Um….. hmmm… oh yea! I have something to say about our partner Jamie! She doesn't actually exist. She is someone Katie Ysa and I made up just because she's fun. Katie is a bigger RENThead then I am, but I still like rent. My friend Rachel introduced rent to me when I was little but I didn't listen to it until Ysa started to become a RENThead. We casted rent with a bunch of our friends and I'm Joanne!!  Only, I can't sing that part in seasons of love seeing as I'm the alto of the altos.

Katie: And I'm the soprano of the sopranos. I can sing her part in seasons of love instead. But you know Anni, Joanne only sings that in the movie. It's sung by the "seasons soloist" in the show.

Anni: I kno, I'v seen the show. But I cant rember who we(ysa and i) casted you as! Hmmm…

Katie: You cast me as maureen. And i was the stunt double (we didn't really need one, but i knew i was the only one brave enough to be a stunt double, so i dubbed myself as such)

Annie: O yeah! And you sang the high ntoe for me in seasons of love!!

Katie: I rocked the socks off that high note!

Anni: Stop rubbing your voice in my face

Katie: Sorry

Anni: This authoress' note is starting to get longer that the fic... we should end it

Katie: Okay

Both: bye!!

Katie: oh yeah, and remember to go to fiction press and read my musical- /s/2526865/1/DariBaby

Anni: Katie!! Stop doing PR for your stupid-

Katie: AMAZING!!

Anni: -musical, during our fanfiction!

Katie: Funsucker!!

Anni: yeah yeah yeah

Both: Bye

Anni: For real this time!


	2. Jealousy and Quesadillas

And it was quite a few days later, than that lovely day in the park, with the fountain, and the singing… oh that lovely day…. But anyway... Quite a few days later, all of the boho's (minus Mimi and Angel… who had sadly passed away the year before) were hanging out in the loft, doing absolutely nothing in particular.

Maureen cradled a beer in one hand, while drunkenly making out with a very drunken Joanne in an exceedingly uncoordinated, and annoyingly, drunk manner. They were completely inebriated… to say the least.

Collins was sitting on the window sill with his James bond sunglasses, and black beanie on, as he smoked a joint. He exhaled a huge cloud of smoke and let out a deep chuckle as the joint dangled in his fingers for a moment. Then a moment later he raised it back to his lips… His beautiful, gorgeous, unbelievably amazing lips-

Katie: Annie stop stealing the keyboard and crushing on Collins!!

Angel: Yeah! Stop stealing the keyboard and crushing on my baby!!

Anni: Shut the up you two!!

Angel: I SAID GET AWAY FROM MY BOYFRIEND!!

Anni: Sorry, sorry… cowers in fear

Angel: Awww, did I scare you? I'm sorry.

Spirit angel hugs a terrified Anni

Angel: But stay away from him!

Katie: He's a fictional character…. She can't even talk to him… All she can do is make an OC of herself and put it in the fic and then make it hit on Collins…. Oooops… I shouldn't have said that. smacks forehead

Anni: Not a bad idea

Angel: Katie, you really need to keep your ideas to yourself

Katie: Tell me about it

Anni: Cackles evilly

Katie and Angel: Uggggggg

So in an attempt to keep Anni's mind away from Collins, let's go see what roger and mark are doing….

ROGER AND MARK ARE MAKING OUT ON THE COUCH!!

Wow… I did not see that one coming….

So all in all, it was a normal day in the loft. The two couples were making out ferociously… or drunkenly, and Collins was high…. Yup… Life was good…

Katie: this is getting boring… Anni, you take over, I'm going to go get a quesadilla.

Anni: Okay.

Sadly, though it was a normal day, every normal day in the loft meant that Collins was alone now that his Angel had died. He was high though… so he didn't really care at the moment…

Suddenly there was a knock at the door. Collins (being the only one who was not in a compromising position) went to answer the door. When he opened it there was a young woman standing at the door who looked to be about seventeen. She had light brown hair down to her chin, and light blue eyes. She had some freckles on her lightly tanned skin, and had soft pink lips. She smiled slightly at Collins, who magically, suddenly became not high.

"Hi, umm…" The girl looked nervous "I'm Anni… Benny shut off my running water and I really have to use the bathroom…. I was wondering if I could use yours…?" She shuffled nervously, and Collins smiled.

"Sure. It's right over there." Collins said, and he pointed past Roger and Mark, who had now lost their shirts and had numerous hickies, and towards the bathroom door on the opposite wall. Anni thanked him and shuffled over to the door. A few minutes later she returned to Collins side.

"Thanks… I know that was a little odd… but I'm not a big fan of peeing in the park when Benny starts bitching about the rent and shuts of the water."

"It's no big deal." Collins told her. "If you want you can hang out here today. We have water and I bet you're thirsty. I can kick the couples off of the couch" He said gesturing to the two couples.

"That sounds great!" Anni told him, and giggled as Collins walked over to Mark, picked him up and carried him into Roger's room and threw him onto the bed.

"Collins you're a genius! The bed is so much better than the couch!!" Roger said and ran after Mark into the room and shut the door. Collins turned toward Maureen and Joanne who had surprisingly stopped making out to watch the scene. Joanne raised an eyebrow at him and then sighed.

"I can take a hint" She said and pulled Mo out of the ratty armchair they had been occupying and shoved her into her room and closed the door.

"I'm Collins" He said and held his hand out to Anni who smiled and took it. Collins lead Anni over to the couch and the two of them sat down, Anni comfortably leaning on him even though she barely knew him.

Anni: This is getting boring… I'll just skip ahead to the foreplay

-Five minutes later-

Collins pressed him lips to Anni's and wrapped his strong arms around her waist. Their lips moved together as if they were made for each other and their tongues danced in a way that his and angel's never had.

Angel: OH MY FUCKING GOD!! I'M GONNA KILL YOU! YOU LITTLE WHORE!!

Anni: cowers in fear … wait… when did you get back and where did you go?

Angel: I was teaching Katie my Mami's recipie for Cheese quesadillas. Apparently she's a vegetarian so she can't have chicken quesadillas… AND DON'T CHANGE THE SUBJECT!! IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT THAT A LITTLE, AND MUCH SLUTTIER VERSION OF YOURSELF IS DOWN THERE MAKING OUT WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!

Anni: Honey he's not your boyfriend anymore. You're dead!

Angel: And you're a stupid fangirl!

Anni: I am not stupid!!

Angel: Yeah, and you don't seduce gay men either! sarcasm

Katie: I don't even want to know what prompted that statement.

Angel: Points down to Collins and Anni making out THAT!!

Mimi: Angel chica calm down

Anni: Where did Mimi come from?

Katie: She was teaching me how to make quesadillas with Angel.

Anni: Does the whole world want to teach you how to make quesadillas?

Anthony Rapp: Hello? I was looking for Katie? I was wondering if she wanted we to teach her how to make Vegan Cupcakes…?

Katie: Anni, it goes beyone quesadillas, the world just wants to teach me how to cook.

Anthony: Is that a yes?

Katie: Of course that's a yes. You're my favorite actor!

Angel: BUT WHAT AM I GOING TO DO ABOUT THIS?? points to Collins and ANni

Katie: Tosses angel a remote Here, just press rewind and the story will go back to the start of this chapter.

-REWIND-

ROGER AND MARK ARE MAKING OUT ON THE COUCH!!

Wow… I did not see that one coming….

So all in all, it was a normal day in the loft. The two couples were making out ferociously… or drunkenly, and Collins was high…. Yup… Life was good… Collins was high, and he stayed high all day long, and no one ever turned Collins straight. Ever.

Katie: And Anni is never touching this keyboard while I'm gone. EVER AGAIN!! Oh and by the way people, please check out fics on my other account, that's me ALONE without Anni interrupting everything I write- CeruleanStarGlow

Anni: WHAT DID I SAY ABOUT PR!?

Katie: I don't give a shit what you say. I just-

Anthony: Hey Katie, do you want to learn how to make vegan cupcakes?

Katie: Oooooh yes (whispers- Anthony Rapp I love you!) Here, have the keyboard skips away into the sunset with Anthony

Anni: Rubs hands together and cackles evilly Mwahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!! This is going to be fun! And people, please, I beg you to review. I beg you!! Reviews are my livelihood, and Anthony Rapp is katie's livelihood. So Anthony, if you read this, review, please, and tell us it's you! Katie will love you forever!


End file.
